How To Be Happy

Happiness is a choice. You've probably heard this before but have had times when you feel it's just wishful thinking. How could you be happy if you've been surrounded by negativity, criticism, and just had a plain old bad day, or feel like you've had an unlucky life?

I rented the movie, Happy-Go-Lucky last night and what a dose of joy I received. The main character, who may easily annoy the life-is-serious-business kind of person, can't help but win you over in the end. Her sweetness is contagious.

Throughout the movie her positive, carefree and joyful approach to life is tested by some harsh realities: her bike is stolen, she shares a compassionate moment with a mentally deranged homeless man, she tries to help a school bully, she is abused by her insane driving instructor and written off as being a Peter Pan by her IRA-toting sister.

Amidst the judgment, shouting rants and many examples of life's unfairness, this character proves that though life may make you feel glum now and then, creating a core of happiness to come back to is a choice you are always free to make. You can make happiness the anchor that keeps you grounded, that helps you see clearly. Seeing the world through a joyful perspective is an antidote to becoming bitter and disillusioned.

The main character, Poppy, at first may seem a little flaky and unrealistic. But the movie begs to ask the question, what is reality? The message I received from this film is that we each have our own reality based on how we see the world. It's not a question of right and wrong. It's a question of how do you want to experience your life - believing that life is miserable, hard work or that life is fun and has a sense of humor?

A few lines really stood out to me. Her miserable driving instructor sees the world as a hard, cold place and instead of absorbing his negativity she notes, "it must be hard being you." Her innocent observations do seem childlike because she doesn't join in on matured misery. She remains neutral, refusing to buy into someone else's negative viewpoint of the world. She shows that it is much easier to be a happy person than to be an unhappy person. She is presented with many reasons throughout the film to change her attitude, but she chooses happiness again and again.

My other favorite line is when her friend says to her, after all the grimness she was subjected to, "You can't make people happy all the time." And Poppy replies, "It doesn't hurt to try!"

What a wonderful attitude to approach your life with. With this character, it was obvious she wasn't trying to make anyone happy, naturally happy is what she was. You don't need to try to please people, just being a positive, fun, joyful person can have a healing, and lasting, effect on the people around you. A kind word, a cheery smile, an upbeat laugh can impact the lives of those around you in meaningful ways you may never realize.

That's how powerful happiness is.


5 Simple Steps To Create A Core of Happiness
inspired by the character of Poppy

1. Don't join the party pooper. When engaged with someone who is spewing out negative thoughts and beliefs, do not join them. Stay neutral. It's better to say nothing or point out the positive than to agree with them.

2. Discover what makes you happy. Pursue these things on a daily basis to stay connected to what brings you joy. If you have a hard day, come back to these things, whether it's watching a funny show, reading a funny or inspiring book, painting, dancing, getting out in nature, treating yourself to a mani pedi - do what makes you happy to refresh the feeling within you.

3. It's okay to feel unhappy or shaken by life at times. It's normal to feel bummed out when exposed to sad things. Life can be sad at times, and it's healthier to allow yourself to feel than to deny it with superficial smiles. You are human. Allow yourself time to feel glum, grieve, and contemplate. Then go to back to step 2.

4. Don't judge or stereotype yourself. Just because you're thirty or older doesn't mean you have to stop seeing the world as a magical place and stop being a fun person to be around. I believe attitude and your perception of yourself are as detrimental to the aging process as stress and toxins are.

5. Decide what a happy life means to you. So many people are so intent on doing things "right" in their life that they don't stop to acknowledge if they feel happy. So many people are in denial that they are very unhappy. People who have lots of "things" may feel they should feel happy and blessed. Then they feel guilty for being unhappy which makes it impossible to truly feel good. Release this cycle of unhappiness by defining what happiness looks like on the outside and feels like on the inside. Then pursue what makes you happy inside and out with passion.

The core of happiness is a root that you plant inside of you that cannot be ripped out during hard times, it will only grow stronger the more you return and tend to it.

Happy Go Lucky

Happy-Go-Lucky Widget

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Redefining Spirituality: Because Caring is Cool

Somewhere along the line the word "spiritual" got lumped in with images of hippies, tie dye, flowing scarves, strange esoteric language and people who appear to be living on another planet.

The basis of spirituality is not much different than philosophy: asking questions and finding meaning to life. Spiritual thinkers of the past applied certain habits (pun intended, nuns) to mind, body and spirit. They may have called it living a holy life. We modern spiritual thinkers refer to it as living a holistic lifestyle. Both viewpoints believe in living a mindful life. Mindful of how our actions affect others, and how mental and physical junk affects our mind and body.

So how did a new age movement that was meant to bring in a higher realm of thought create such a negative reputation that it hasn't been taken seriously?

Many new agers are not grounded in the material world which makes them appear to be unfocused, cultish, incomprehensible, too "out there" which can be a real turn off for people who are intent on living with two feet on the ground.

I'm in my '30's and I am a very spiritual person, but I've never related to the "new age." The music, the language, the style, the energy, it hasn't ever been inviting to me and has felt like a throw back to my parents era of free love and trippy hippy.

I wondered where is spirituality for the rest of us? Why can't it be modernized?

When I started thinking about the people who have said to me they're not spiritual or stepped away from me when I've mentioned that I am, as if I had a contagious virus, I realized that the majority of people on this planet are spiritual. They just don't know it.

I did a little research to see how dictionaries define the word "spirituality" and noted the problem. The definitions basically said "one who is concerned with matters of the soul not with the mundane material or physical..."

Right. So it's basically saying that spirituality means that you're only into soul matters. You could care less about say, getting a promotion at work, having a beautiful home, driving a fantastic car, owning nice clothes, what's happening in politics/the world, etc.

How absurd. You can't divide heaven and earth.

So I'm here to re-define it's meaning. Just like a fashionista has a flare for fashion, as a spiritualista, I have a passion for making the most of my life and making a difference in this world. Being spiritual is as simple as that.

Here are some questions to discover if you have a spiritual bone in your body:

• Have you ever helped someone out and expected nothing in return?
  
• Do you care about the environment?
• Do you feel compassion when you hear of someone's misfortune?
• Do you pull together to support others when there is a tragedy?
• Have you said a prayer, thanked or questioned God at some point in your life?
• Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
• Have you ever pondered why you're here, what your purpose is?
• Have you ever donated to charity, ran a marathon or volunteered for a cause?
• Have you ever donated your old stuff to those in need?
• Do you believe in the idea of karma, destiny and that we learn things throughout our life?
  
• Do you believe that no matter what race, religion or gender that we all experience the same feelings for better or for worse, that we're all connected in some way?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions then guess what, you're spiritual. That doesn't mean you're religious. It doesn't mean that you don't like to hang out with friends for a drink after work or that you have to know what downward dog is. It doesn't mean that you don't want that amazing job or to make a ton of money or wear designer clothes. Heck, I do! It means that the material life isn't all that defines you. Your life, your thoughts, your beliefs go deeper than only thinking about you and your bottom line. Spiritual thinking provides an opportunity to grow as a human being, to understand yourself and your life, to become a better person.

There's so much more to life than the basics of eat, drink, work, sleep. Spirituality allows us to use our brains in a higher capacity and reveals how interesting life really is. Spirituality makes us smarter. When we think smarter, we have the opportunity to act smarter. Part of being a spiritual person is integrating the material and physical by learning how to work through your challenges in a healthy way, and using your inspiration and faith to actively pursue your dreams instead of settling for a life unfulfilled. Success is spiritual. In fact, I believe it's the highest spiritual state we can achieve on earth. It's the balance between material (financial), physical (health) and spiritual (love for self and others) success that creates the ultimate happiness we all long for.

Success is, of course, in the eye of the beholder. Just keep in mind that most of the great spiritual teachers like Jesus and Buddha, unlike common belief, came from middle to upper class families and it was their material support that helped provide education and travel so that they could learn more and teach others.

So, embrace your inner spiritual self. Don't be ashamed. Come out of the closet. You'll be joined by other people, like me, who are part of the new generation of visionaries, thinkers and do-gooders who are helping to make this world a cooler place to live.

HeavenHealingArts.com and Spiritualista.com (coming soon): spirituality for the rest of us. Subscribe. Watch. Listen. Feel Good.

photo: Lauralyn visiting Stonehenge

Five Spiritual Factors That Guide Your Life

I was watching Sliding Doors the other night and forgot how much I liked the movie. It really gets you thinking about philosophical things like, what's the difference between the law of attraction, destiny, parallel realities and God's Will? And does any of it matter?

Well, of course it all matters and it's all real.

This movie is a good example of how it works. The story is about a woman whose life is divided into two different destinies created by the simple act of missing, or not missing a train.

The movie follows her two parallel realities that are happening at the same time. Similar events happen in each reality, but the details are different. I just realized this time watching it how cleverly it was done, how true it is.

I'll break it down the way Life works and if you have a chance, rent the movie. It will make you think.


Law of Attraction: You are the master of your ship, you create your reality. Just as magnets have that strong pull to connect, our own energy pulls in what we're "tuned into," where our energy is vibrating. Think of energy like radio waves. Your thoughts are constantly giving and receiving thoughts to and from the world. When we say someone is on our "wavelength" we're talking about the law of attraction, like attracts like. Knowing that you can use your thoughts and intentions to receive what you want and need is simply understanding how to use your divine power on earth the same way we do in heaven. Everything is created from thought - the car you drive, the house you live in, the TV you watch. Everything starts with one thought and a vision. Taking responsibility for and using your free will mindfully and positively is part of our evolving on earth, so attract away! It's a natural ability we all have.

Destiny: The life event that we chose to experience in this lifetime before we came in. i.e. being in the "right place at the right time" to meet your soul mate or land your dream job. They may seem like happy surprises, God is good like that. He has us forget the destiny we chose before we got here to help us learn about faith, hope, love and to provide some excitement in our lives! There really are no coincidences. Experiencing a sense of "destiny" makes us so happy because deep down our soul remembers that our connection to God and divine meaning in our lives is real.

Parallel Realities: Energy is impossible to contain. It's not tangible like dense, heavy, solid matter. Our bodies are matter, so they stay put. But our spirit isn't tangible like human flesh. This is why it's been so debated whether it even exists because people can't see it. That's because it's pure energy. We energy healers call it the "energy body" because it has a whole anatomy of it's own. So it is possible for the soul to bi-locate since it is not bound by gravity. Your soul can be in your physical body and be living an alternate reality in another time and place.

God's Will: God's Will is like your parents telling you, "because I said so." He's the Father, and you don't question Dad because you know he knows what's best for you. You can try to rebel against God's plan for you, but will always be led back to opportunities for where you need to be. You can never go astray from God's will. There are no accidents. There are agreements you make with yourself and God to fulfill your life's purpose on earth. It's that cut and dried.

You may be wondering here, then what's the point of taking time and energy to ask for what I want if God is in control of everything anyway?

When you go to college, is your Dad there telling you whether you should drink or not? Do you make some not so hot decisions that you end up learning from? Consider earth your college. You're away from home, and you have the freedom to make choices every day and experience the consequences for better or worse. With the law of attraction, you practice making positive choices and so the consequences are positive. It's the big stuff where you'll see God stepping in to make sure you don't "drop out" of your spiritual education, like making sure you push through nerves to apply for that big job or write the book you always wanted to. Like any good parent, God wants you to graduate!

Life Contracts: We're not thrust into this life by happenstance, forced to survive the bottom lines to succeed and be a good citizen. That thinking is primed for a book like, "The Ego's Guide to the Essentials of Living on Earth." Let's stretch beyond the ego's limited view and look at the big picture. How events unfold. How they affect you and lead you to other events. There is a divinely orchestrated dance that is always at play in your life. For some it's in the background and may never be noticed. For others, they are aware of the connections and find joy in the recognition.

Here's the outline for the typical life contract that you sign between you, God and your Guides before your soul slips back into a womb:

• Life lessons to concentrate on (trust, patience, forgiveness, humbleness, etc.)
• Trauma to heal from past lives, second chances (killed in a previous life for standing up for what you believe in, get a second chance to voice your opinions safely and maybe even famously!)
• Major events you will experience to support your spiritual growth (to marry or not, have kids or not, what field you'll work in, how you will contribute to the world with your unique talent/passion)

After reading this, you may find the movie even more interesting as you see how these different universal laws play out and prove, regardless of what decision you make, you will always be exactly where you need to be at the right time and there's no avoiding what is meant to be...because you chose it and God wills it!

The Angels Advice on Dealing with Poor Customer Service

I hired a dog trainer this week and was really disappointed by his performance. In exchange for his costly fee he promised that within our 90 minute time together we would cover at least four topics, one including my dog's crate training and separation anxiety.

He showed up to my house 45 minutes late. While he was here he used the restroom, took phone calls, and threw treats at my dog on her bed. He got a phone call an hour later and said he had to go and be somewhere else. He didn't even look at the crate or teach me anything other than throwing treats on my dog's bed to get her to stay, which wasn't an issue. He never left the chair he originally sat in and when he left I felt stunned and confused. I hadn't learned anything at all.

When I told a friend he said, you have to call him back and let him know how you feel. Intuitively, I already saw that scenario play out in my head. He would, of course, defend his services. I knew I wouldn't get my money back. It felt pointless and a waste of my time. The trainer said he would call in a week to follow-up, and if he does I will let him know I wasn't satisfied with our appointment and will no longer need his services.

I was mulling over it a bit thinking to myself, how can someone charge so much and provide so little? I have a private practice and I value the time I give to my clients. It matters to me that they feel satisfied after our time together. I didn't feel any care or passion with this trainer, and that's what disappointed me the most.

The angels heard my thoughts and said to me, "Consider your payment to him a donation to the universe."

Something about that statement really resonated with me and brought me instant peace. Sometimes you may feel guided to voice your complaint, try to get your money back or fight for fairness. Sometimes it will feel justified. But as the saying goes, learn to pick and choose your battles because your energy is precious and confrontations, unlike discussions, usually just breed more negativity and hard feelings.

Sometimes it's best to just let it go. To use your generosity to donate the love or money you felt had been "wasted" because really, nothing can be wasted in this world. Energy is fluid, like the rolling waters of the ocean, so put out what you want to get back.

The $120 Chi and What She Taught Me About Law of Attraction and Divine Timing

For years I've been saying, "Someday I'll have a little dog who will love me..." She came into my life during a time that was, to the human eye, less than perfect. My home was going into foreclosure. My marriage was being annulled. My career was going through a transition. My financial future was an affirmation.

That's when I met her. A four pound Chihuahua sharing a cage with two other dogs in a shelter ten minutes away from where I was living. I saw her online when doing a random search of shelters. I had already decided I would save up for a dog I found online through a breeder who said she raised healthy puppies who were well socialized with children and other pets. I swore I was done with shelter animals. I had adopted five in the past and they all were a handful with health and behavioral problems. I told myself I wanted a well-adjusted dog this time. I wasn't up for another challenge.

But she chose me, this little dog who had been abandoned at the shelter. The moment she saw me, she ran up to the wire and wagged her tail at me. Her teeny brown eyes were filled with personality and expression. She sat in my lap, and next thing I knew I was signing an application and handing over a check for $120.

When I took her home, she was a handful and I immediately felt overwhelmed and questioned my judgment. Before making any big decisions, even little ones, I have a habit of meditating first. The answer comes clearly for me then. This decision felt rash, and it freaked me out. I thought I had made a big mistake.

I placed an ad on Craig's List, deciding to foster her until I found a good family who had the patience and resources to help her. That day, I took a long walk with the little dog and sat by a tree. I asked the angels what I should do. Should I keep the dog or let her go? How would I afford the training I thought she needed?

The tree, whose name was "Franklin," asked me what I wanted. This tree asked me to be honest with myself, to speak from my heart, not my head. I telepathically said, "I don't want to let her go. I feel she belongs with me."

Franklin said not to read apparent limitations as "signs." I was thinking the sign that I shouldn't keep this dog was that I didn't have a budget to provide training for her. Franklin said I simply needed to ask for what I needed, and it would be provided. The sign of whether or not we should do things is always answered by the feeling in our heart. All the material and logistical things will unfold from there, through divine support.

So I asked the Universe to please help provide me with everything I needed to keep this dog; patience, money, time. The next day, I received two interested families from my Craig's List ad wanting to meet the dog. I also received some payments from clients, just enough to pay for training.

The Universe had provided me with two options. The choice was now mine.

I decided to keep her. I asked my pendulum who sent her to me. I was told my guardian angels. They had heard my prayers asking for a companion. I had been asking for a little dog for years and heaven heard me. It was not up to me to decide the perfect time. My guardian angels knew the exact time when I needed her in my life, and when she needed me.

So the lesson I share with you from this experience is to remember to ask for what you need. Don't assume you can't have what you want. Never believe your desires are impossible. Don't judge your future based on your present situation because change is something you can depend on based on your thoughts and actions. Don't judge your capability based on how you feel now because you are always changing and new opportunities are always being sent your way.

I love that Rolling Stones line, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime you just may find you get what you need." It so applicable to the ask and it is given law of the universe. I had asked for a little dog. I was planning on saving up one to three thousand, yes thousand, dollars which is the average cost of a breeder chi. I figured it would take years to do it, but it would be worth it. Instead, I ended up with a $120 teacup who has become one of my best friends.

Lucky for me, I ended up getting what I wanted and needed.

I wish the same for you. All you have to do is ask, then sit tight and accept the divine help.