How To Be Happy

Happiness is a choice. You've probably heard this before but have had times when you feel it's just wishful thinking. How could you be happy if you've been surrounded by negativity, criticism, and just had a plain old bad day, or feel like you've had an unlucky life?

I rented the movie, Happy-Go-Lucky last night and what a dose of joy I received. The main character, who may easily annoy the life-is-serious-business kind of person, can't help but win you over in the end. Her sweetness is contagious.

Throughout the movie her positive, carefree and joyful approach to life is tested by some harsh realities: her bike is stolen, she shares a compassionate moment with a mentally deranged homeless man, she tries to help a school bully, she is abused by her insane driving instructor and written off as being a Peter Pan by her IRA-toting sister.

Amidst the judgment, shouting rants and many examples of life's unfairness, this character proves that though life may make you feel glum now and then, creating a core of happiness to come back to is a choice you are always free to make. You can make happiness the anchor that keeps you grounded, that helps you see clearly. Seeing the world through a joyful perspective is an antidote to becoming bitter and disillusioned.

The main character, Poppy, at first may seem a little flaky and unrealistic. But the movie begs to ask the question, what is reality? The message I received from this film is that we each have our own reality based on how we see the world. It's not a question of right and wrong. It's a question of how do you want to experience your life - believing that life is miserable, hard work or that life is fun and has a sense of humor?

A few lines really stood out to me. Her miserable driving instructor sees the world as a hard, cold place and instead of absorbing his negativity she notes, "it must be hard being you." Her innocent observations do seem childlike because she doesn't join in on matured misery. She remains neutral, refusing to buy into someone else's negative viewpoint of the world. She shows that it is much easier to be a happy person than to be an unhappy person. She is presented with many reasons throughout the film to change her attitude, but she chooses happiness again and again.

My other favorite line is when her friend says to her, after all the grimness she was subjected to, "You can't make people happy all the time." And Poppy replies, "It doesn't hurt to try!"

What a wonderful attitude to approach your life with. With this character, it was obvious she wasn't trying to make anyone happy, naturally happy is what she was. You don't need to try to please people, just being a positive, fun, joyful person can have a healing, and lasting, effect on the people around you. A kind word, a cheery smile, an upbeat laugh can impact the lives of those around you in meaningful ways you may never realize.

That's how powerful happiness is.


5 Simple Steps To Create A Core of Happiness
inspired by the character of Poppy

1. Don't join the party pooper. When engaged with someone who is spewing out negative thoughts and beliefs, do not join them. Stay neutral. It's better to say nothing or point out the positive than to agree with them.

2. Discover what makes you happy. Pursue these things on a daily basis to stay connected to what brings you joy. If you have a hard day, come back to these things, whether it's watching a funny show, reading a funny or inspiring book, painting, dancing, getting out in nature, treating yourself to a mani pedi - do what makes you happy to refresh the feeling within you.

3. It's okay to feel unhappy or shaken by life at times. It's normal to feel bummed out when exposed to sad things. Life can be sad at times, and it's healthier to allow yourself to feel than to deny it with superficial smiles. You are human. Allow yourself time to feel glum, grieve, and contemplate. Then go to back to step 2.

4. Don't judge or stereotype yourself. Just because you're thirty or older doesn't mean you have to stop seeing the world as a magical place and stop being a fun person to be around. I believe attitude and your perception of yourself are as detrimental to the aging process as stress and toxins are.

5. Decide what a happy life means to you. So many people are so intent on doing things "right" in their life that they don't stop to acknowledge if they feel happy. So many people are in denial that they are very unhappy. People who have lots of "things" may feel they should feel happy and blessed. Then they feel guilty for being unhappy which makes it impossible to truly feel good. Release this cycle of unhappiness by defining what happiness looks like on the outside and feels like on the inside. Then pursue what makes you happy inside and out with passion.

The core of happiness is a root that you plant inside of you that cannot be ripped out during hard times, it will only grow stronger the more you return and tend to it.